SOMEONE ‘STOLE’ A BANK ISN’T JUST GOOFY, IT’S WRONG

“You typically don’t use the term ‘congratulations’ when someone just stole a bank.”

Until I heard this quote, I had never heard of Charlie Kirk or his youth organization Turning Point USA. It’s entirely possible that English might not be this young fellow’s first language. I would rather believe that than believe young Charles is intellectually challenged.

You see, there’s just one other person I’ve ever heard use “stole” that way, and English was not her first language.

The word you’re looking for is “robbed,” Charlie. People “rob” banks, not “steal” them, although it might be possible (though not very likely, that there is a missing building on a street corner somewhere.

Do you think Charlie’s friends called him “Captain” when he was a kid?

No, but I think he probably spent a lot of time in his bedroom wanking off to nude pictures of Phyllis Schlafly.

Really?

Maybe Dinesh D’Souza. But hell, young Charlie has nearly 2 million followers on Twitter. Last time I looked, I had 152.

Anyway, Charlie loves him some Donald Trump. He’s from Phoenix, Arizona, and his group — which he founded eight years ago — is dedicated to exposing the fact there are leftist professors teaching on America’s college campuses.

Gasp!

Yes, it’s shocking. The problem is too many on the far right with good intellects want to make lots more money than teachers at any level, they’re on Wall Street while liberal work for teachers’ wages. I’m pretty sure that the old expression “Those who can’t do, teach,” came from a conservative.

Although to be fair, it was Woody Allen who added, “Those who can’t teach, teach gym.”

I knew at least one person growing up who hated the thought of being a teacher. In fact, the only two jobs he would have hated more involved animal vivisection and child molestation.

No, not together.

So of course he became a teacher.

Back to Charlie, though. Even if I make him smarter than he sounds and credited him with saying you don’t congratulate someone who robbed a bank, he’s still off base.

Nobody robbed a bank.

Nobody stole an election.

Even Bill Barr, as big a Trump sycophant as there is, said there was no evidence anywhere that there was fraud in the election results.

So essentially young Charlie has made the decision to hitch his star to Donald Trump, which sadly will probably result in a moment sometime down the road when he’ll be drowning and ask why.

The answer is an easy one.

“You knew I was a snake when you gave me a ride.”

I imagine Charlie will make a great deal of money in his life. Right wing moguls have more money than they can spend.

But there really are two kids of people in the world, those who put money and power first and those who try to make the world a better place.

The secret is that money and power are ephemeral.

Those who make the world a better place have something no one can steal from them.

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