Let’s get one question out of the way right away.
The photo at the beginning of this piece is not fake, photo-shopped or altered in any way. It’s a picture of America’s two most infamous celebrities — together.
Yes, it was taken sometime back in the past, before O.J. Simpson got away with it and before Donald Trump ever got serious about running for office.
Great duos from history?
Stan and Ollie.
Butch and Sundance?
The Juice and the Douche.
Now that it appears Trump will escape conviction by the Senate, there are certainly many people who wonder what can be done to make Donnie pay for his crimes.
Which is where Simpson comes in. After one of the least able juries in U.S. history acquitted Simpson of a double murder, many people felt there was no real way to punish him for a crime he obviously committed. After all, O.J. was not declared innocent; his “not guilty” verdict was the equivalent of Britain’s “not proven.”
So as happy as our man O.J. was to be acquitted, instead he got one of the worst punishments he could have imagined.
He had to go back to being a Negro.
Not that there’s anything wrong with being African-American, but the one thing Simpson always seemed to take great pride in was being someone whose appeal went across racial lines. White people liked him — police officers, beautiful blonde women, Republicans.
It was members of his own race who acquitted him, and my friend Mick was the only white person I know who doubted O.J.’s guilt.
As comedian Chris Rock said about the verdict, “I haven’t seen white people so angry since M*A*S*H was cancelled.”
My friends Mick and Chuck and I used to play golf at a public course in Los Angeles County where Simpson occasionally showed up. We used to discuss what we would do if showed up and they assigned him to fill out our foursome. Two of us said we would refuse, and the other one — not Mick — said it would be interesting.
Sort of like the ancient Chinese curse.
May you live in interesting times.
As for Trump, I think the most just thing to do would be just to treat him as he deserves to be treated. Just let him know that he’s nobody special, that his money just makes him Jethro Clampett’s evil twin.
Don’t let him use his money to buy his way into or out of anything.
Heck, he’s 74 years old, a few months older than O.J. He’s morbidly obese, and I would be willing to bet he has other morbidities he keeps secret.
Just relax.
One way or another, he’ll be gone soon