IT’S NOT CANCEL CULTURE IF THEY CHOOSE IT

In an alternate reality not so far away:

April 1953, SPANDAU PRISON — Former German Chancellor Adolf Hitler, spending life in prison for war crimes, announced today he was withdrawing his book, “Mein Kampf,” from publication. Hitler said he no longer believed what he had written and did not want his former racist attitudes to be published.

U.S. conservatives, led by Sen. Joseph McCarthy (R-Wis), blamed communists for what he called “cancel culture” and said it is wrong to block publication of things so many people believe.

President Eisenhower was unavailable for comment.

No, that never happened. Whether Hitler died in his bunker or lived out his dotage in South America, “Mein Kampf” remained available to wannabes all over the world.

And regardless of what the right wing is telling you, no one is “cancel culturing” six books written by Theodore Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss.

And before I forget and you start thinking Hitler wasn’t so bad after all, the anecdote at the beginning of this piece is complete fiction.

Pretty sure if Adolf the Hitt had any regrets, they were about not killing enough people, not giving it all up and retiring to a South Sea island.

Back to the point.

The far right is outraged that Geisel’s estate will no longer allow six of Seuss’s sketchier books to be published. Apparently some of the “poorly educated” people the former president loves are thinking that hey, if they ever learn to read, they want these books available.

I’ve got no problem with Dr. Seuss. His books came along a little too later for me, but I know the first book two of my younger siblings learned to read was “Hop on Pop.”

I was more a Dick, Jane and Sally kid.

“Run, Dick, run!”

The six books the family decided to withdraw had ethnic stereotypes and some fairly racist pictures of African natives in the jungle.

They’re some of the last vestiges of our racist culture from the first half of the 20th Century, things like a scared black actor saying, “Feets, do your stuff” and taking off running.

It’s the same reason we don’t see Speedy Gonzalez or Pepe Le Pew in catoons and English children don’t play with golliwlog dolls anymore.

We’re supposed to mature, to progress in our relationships with each other. I remember in comic books in the late ’50s, when Superman would meet people from the future, they had oversized heads to hold their larger brains.

I’m not seeing that progress yet.

As for Dr. Seuss, who by the way is a fraternity brother of mine (different times, different schools), so many of his books are still wonderful for kids.

We can’t blame the guy for the few that aren’t.

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