TOO BAD, SO SAD, TRUMP-FREE MEDIA GETS MAD

“STICKS NIX HICK PIX.”

Back in the 1930s, Variety did an article about how movies about rural culture weren’t popular with folks who lived in the country.

The four-word rhymer might be the most famous headline ever that wasn’t about a serious historical event, at least until the New York Post came along with its classic homicide headline in the 1980s.

No rhyme, no alliteration, but one hell of a juxtaposition. It reminded me of a night early in my career when I was writing headlines for the Sports section at my paper in South Carolina. Detroit had blasted the Baltimore Orioles something like 17-2, and I put the cutesy headline “Tigers devour Baltimore” on the story.

The managing editor came over, noticed my headline and tapped on the page. “Shouldn’t a story like that be on the front page?”

It was the night I learned the truth in the old saying that newspapermen write headlines to amuse other newspapermen.

I was reminded of all this when I read a story in today’s Washington Post by Paul Farhi in which he said that Donald Trump’s claim that his loss would cause a massive decline in TV ratings and newspaper circulation seemed to be coming true.

“In other words,” he wrote, “Journalism’s Trump bump may be giving way to a slump.”

I suppose you could say something like the ancient Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times.”

There’s certainly no denying that the last four years were well, interesting. Whether it was Trump himself, his family or his vice president, the whitest non-albino in America, things were far too fascinating.

I kept thinking the ultimate Trump story would be Donald running away with Ivanka to live on a desert island together.

Write a headline for that one.

I dare you.

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