ABSALOM, PAT(TY) AND ALL THE ANSWERS

When you look at the true weirdos in government, most of them are usually far away from where we live.

When I was growing up in Ohio and Virginia in the 1950s and ’60s, most of the beyond-the-pale types were either down south (anti-civil rights) or way out west (the John Bircher types).

Not that Virginia didn’t try. When we moved there in 1963, one of our senators may have been the only senator ever with the first name “Absalom.” He went by his middle name, did Senator A. Willis Robertson, and he fixed it so that his son would go by his middle name too.

He named his son Marion Pat Robertson, and when he told his son his name, he got a strong reaction.

“Wutchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?”

And the rest is history.

Although it could have been even worse. Absalom’s original preference was Marion Patricia for his son.

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Yesterday I posted a pop culture quiz about the ’70s and ’80 and I said I would post the answers today.

Here goes:

1. “Are you calling me a pussy communist?”

G.D. Spradlin’s redneck sheriff in the James Garner movie “Tank” (1984), failing to understand when told about posse comitatus.

2. Dinosaur Victrola.

John Fogarty in the 1970 Creedence Clearwater Revival song, “Lookin’ Out My Back Door.” The whole line is “Dinosaur Victrola, listenin’ to Buck Owens …”

3. What was Chachi’s last name?

If you recognize the name, you may be aware that Chachi was Fonzie’s younger cousin on “Happy Days” (1974-84). His last name was Arcola.

4. What baseball player was most famous for his massive Afro?

Back in the mid ’70s, Oscar Gamble of the New York Yankees had a truly legendary Afro.

5. “There are a lot of mediocre people in this country. They deserve representation too.”

When the Milhous guy nominated G. Harrold Carswell to the Supreme Court, he was attacked as a mediocre judge. Nebraska Sen. Roman Hruska defended Carswell with the above quote

6. “Fo, fo, fo.”

In 1983, Moses Malone led the Philadelphia 76ers to the NBA title. The quote was Malone saying the Sixers would win in three four-game sweeps. It actually wound up being “Fo, fi, fo.”

7. “I hate spunk!”

One of the easier ones. Lou Grant interviewing Mary Richards for a job on the “Mary Tyler Moore” show. He tells he she’s got spunk and then says he hates spunk.

8. The killer rabbit.

When President Jimmy Carter was fishing on a Georgia lake in 1979, a strange swamp animal was swimming toward his canoe. Carter saying it may have been a “killer rabbit” didn’t help his image any.

9. Who was Bette Midler’s original piano player?

When the Divine Miss M was playing the New York bath houses in the early ’70s, her pianist was a young guy by the name of Barry Manilow.

10. “I’d purely love to see it angry.”

In the movie “M*A*S*H” (1970), John Schuck played a dentist known as the Painless Pole, who had a male organ of legendary size. One man looking through a hole in the flap covering the showers is very impressed.

11. 66-64.

The score of what some call the greatest basketball game ever played, when Villanova shocked Georgetown in 1985 at Rupp Arena to win the NCAA title.

12. What did Herschel Walker want to be before he wanted to be a football player?

One of the greatest running backs of his generation wanted to be an FBI agent.

13. “A red chariot to take my ass straight to hell!”

Gerrit Graham’s character in “Used Cars” (1980), who is highly superstitious about driving red cars.

14. Who were George McGovern’s two running mates in 1972?

He started with Tom Eagleton of Missouri, but changed course when it was revealed Eagleton had undergone shock treatment foir depression. He replaced him with Sargent Shriver, who sadly never made it to lieutenant.

15. “You go strolling through the crowd like Peter Lorre contemplating a crime.”

The Lorre reference is to old movies like “Casablanca” or “The Maltese Falcon,” but the correct answer is it’s a line from a 1976 son by Al Stewart, “The Year of the Cat.”

16, Who are the only two U.S. vice presidents never to be elected?

Ironically, they came within a year or so of each other. When Spiro Agnew resigned, the Milhous guy appointed Gerald Ford to replace him. When Ford became president, he appointed Nelson Rockefeller as his vice president.

17. “… till she’s sitting on your face.”

“My Sharona” was the Knack’s biggest hit, but “Good Girls Don’t” (1979) is the one it’s still hilarious to hear. It’s all about high school madness.

18. “No yankee my wankee.”

In these days of woke-ness, it’s tough to imagine a character like Long Duc Dong, the Chinese exchanged student in “Sixteen Candles” (1985). but I’m not sure there was ever a funnier character in a John Hughes movie.

19. Name the Brat Packer whose virginity (and loss thereof) was a key plot point in a 1985 movie.

Mare Winningham in “St. Elmo’s Fire.”

20. Who did Jane’s voice in “Greystoke?”

Andie McDowell played Jane, but they didn’t like her Southern accent. With Long Duc Dong unavailable, the voice was done by Glenn Close.

21. Oklahoma, the Seahawks and “Stone Cold.”

How can we forget the biggest “all hat no cattle” character of the late ’80s? Brian Bosworth.

22. “I said get some sleep and dream of rock ‘n’ roll.”

It’s the end of the first verse of “Chevy Van,” by Sammy Johns, one of the goofiest one-hit wonder songs of the early ’70s.

23. Who were Nixon’s “twin Germans?”

H.R. “Bob” Haldeman and John Ehrlichman, who ran the White House for the Milhous guy.

24. William Marshall, in the movie and its sequel.

The star of two of the greatest blaxploitation movies, Marshall played the main character in both “Blacula” and “Scream Blacula Scream.”

25. “No grinding.”

The trick question that prevents perfect scores unless you know Christine Worth Miller or Chris Gullotta. What she said to him several times in ’71 and ’72 when they were slow dancing.

Now you know the zeitgeist.

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