Three of the finest men I know are part of my family, one in my generation and two in the next.
There are two others who deserve to be in that company, my two nephews in Massachusetts and New York. As best as I can tell, there isn’t one person among the five with a mean bone in his body.
When I think of that term — mean bone — I’m always amused to remember an exchange between Elizabeth Perkins and Jim Belushi in “About Last Night.”
“You don’t have a decent bone in your body.”
“Stop talking about my bone.”
Seriously, my brother, who is not pictured, makes me wish I were as good a man as he is. My son-in-law and my son, who are pictured, just fill me with awe when I think of them.
My brother, who is 10 years younger than I am, has literally been going through hell for our family the last two years. Our mother died in late 2020 and Stephen is the executor of her estate. Emptying her house and preparing it to sell was the modern equivalent of the fifth labor of Hercules — cleaning out the Augean Stables.
Our parents grew up during the Great Depression, which I suppose is what made them such pack rats. But so much of what they saved had no value at all. It just took forever to clean out. The plan was to have the house on the market last summer. It finally made it to the market this month.
My brother’s efforts on the estate — and a broken leg he got in a cycling accident last summer — have made him put his own life on hold for the better part of a year. I’m hopeful that hold is coming to an end. I don’t know anyone more entitled to some peace, quiet and happiness than my brother.
The two others — the younger men in the picture at the beginning, are my son-in-law and my son.
I’ve written about my son before, so I’ll start with my son-in-law Johnathan. In the tittle time I have actually spent with him, I have been extremely impressed by what a wonderful husband and father he is. He has been so supportive of Pauline, coming along when her first marriage was coming apart. He has the same career she does — the consular cone in the Foreign Service — but has had to make sacrifices in his own career to accommodate a two-career family.
He is a very active father to their six children — his three and Pauline’s three from first marriages — and works hard to educate them about money and charity. And while Pauline’s first husband played video games, Johnathan has collaborated with his oldest son to publish books about them.
He is a wonderful cook as well, and our visits have given us some truly memorable meals.
I don’t know him as well as would like to, but the impression I have of him is that he is comfortable in his own skin without a huge amount of ego. Seems like a pretty good combination for a husband and father.
And of course, he will always be near the top of my list of favorite people for publishing two of my novels — “The System” (with Bill Madden) and “A Whiter Shade of Pale.”
Which brings me to the third young man in my story.
I know it embarrasses my son Virgile when I talk about what a wonderful person he is, but I could write a page about him just with great things other people say about him. He and his wife Sterling are an amazing couple coming ip on 13 years of marriage and everyone who meets them raves about them.
My friend Diane Bird is a Realtor who has been working with them in shopping for a house. The day she met them she messaged me about how wonderful they were. “You must be very proud,” she said.
Yes. I am.
Eighteen years ago, his first college roommate told me Virgile was the nicest person he had ever met in his entire life.
I’d be happy just to be in someone’s top 10.
When my brother broke his leg, Virgile and Sterling jumped in with all the help they could give him, far more than he was willing to ask for. “I don’t even know any other people like them,” Stephen said.
The next time I hear someone say something bad about Virgile — and he is 37 years old — will be the first.
He’s not just a good person, either. He is in the same field as his sister, and the first time he received an evaluation, back in 2011, his boss called him “the best young Foreign Service officer I have seen in 20 years.”
And the best young son I have ever known.