Love your neighbor.
Unless he’s one of those gay homos.
Feed the hungry.
Only if they work for it.
Heal the sick.
As long as they have insurance.
Clothe the poor.
Make them pay for it.
Do unto others.
Before they do unto you.
Give up your wealth.
Hey, I worked for this.
Judge not that you be not judged.
What about her emails?
The seven statements above are from two thousand years ago, made by a man hundreds of millions of people profess to love and follow. There have been more songs and books written about him and more words spoken about him that almost anyone else in history.
Except for possibly Bob Dole.
Damn, Mike. Senator Dole died 18 months ago at age 98. Are you ever going to stop making old jokes about him?
All right, all right. Let’s move along.
The italicized responses to the seven statements are made by people who profess to love the first guy No, not Bob Do …
Never mind.
The late great Woody Guthrie wrote a song during the Great Depression, a song Bob Dole probably heard.
Mike …
All right, the remainder of this piece will be a Dole-free zone. Del Monte only.
Christ taught there were two great commandments from which everything else flowed.
Love God.
Love your neighbor.
Jesus said these two outweighed all the earlier teachings, that hating people because of their ethnicity, their beliefs or their sexuality was contrary to God’s law.
So it didn’t matter if people wore clothes of two different fabrics, or touched the skin of a pig. And although he probably didn’t think about it much, if someone had sex with an animal, it was no longer necessary to kill the animal.
That one always bothered me.
In all seriousness, one of the most disgusting things about some religions these days is how you’re basically asked to hate people who are different. It is completely baffling that people who supposedly believe in Jesus want to discriminate against all sorts of people.
Wouldn’t they be surprised …
Seems to me what matters most is this.
God is love.