One of the saddest things about aging is remembering the things you used to love doing but for one reason or another you don’t do anymore.
Very high on that list for me is golf, and even a little higher is playing golf with close friends.
Playing golf was a big part of my life for more than 20 years, from the mid 1990s in Southern California to about 2017 here in Georgia. In fact, when we moved to Georgia in 2010, one of the reasons we chose the community we did was that it had a golf course.
I played and played and played, and even wound up getting a golf cart of my own eight or nine years ago.
In May 2011, before my wife developed some fairly severe health problems, I was on the course 22 times. Now, though, I think it has been at least five years since I played 18 holes.
I miss it a lot, but playing golf here in Georgia has never been the same as playing in California. That’s because here, I play alone, while in California I always played with two close friends. I improved from truly awful (130 or so for 18 holes) to the good side of mediocre (high 80s for 18).
I’;; never forget the first time I broke 100. My friend Chuck Donofrio and I were playing a course both of us loved, Empire Lakes in Rancho Cucamonga. It was a decently difficult course designed by Arnold Palmer that no longer exists, and on Fridays you could pay a $95 greens fee and play all day.
On this one particular day, we started before sunup and played till it was too dark to see the ball. Four rounds plus three holes — 75 holes in all. I remember joking afterwards that I must have set a course record for most shots in one day — three rounds in the low 100s and the fourth one a 98.
It actually should have been better, but I was worn out. I shot 43 on the front nine and 55 on the back, with a 9 on the last hole.
Still, I had done it.
After that, I shot in the 90s most of the time.
If it was any hotter, you didn’t play.
Some years passed and I eventually achieved the goal I had set out to do when I started. I broke 90, which was my goal because I had read that only about 10 percent of recreational golfers ever break 90. In addition to playing with Chuck, we usually were accompanied by my lifelong friend Mick Curran.
The picture above is the seventh hole at Empire Lakes, maybe my favorite hole on any golf course I ever played. It opened in the mid ’90s and closed for good in 2016. The land just became too valuable to be a golf course.
But boy did I love that seventh hole. It was about 170 yards, and if you wanted to attack the hole for a birdie, all but the last 15 yards or so was over water.
The few times I really nailed my shot and left myself a short birdie putt would probably rank among my top five best sports memories. On my very best days at Empire Lakes, I shot 83 and 84. That’s very satisfying, since I remember the first time I played nine holes about 30 years ago, I shot a 75.
Golf can be the most damnably frustrating game. Within five minutes, I can top a shot and have it go five yards and follow a couple of shots later by blasting a pitching wedge 100 yards to within six feet of the pin.
I can hit a horrible drive and on the same hole sink a 25-foot putt.
Heaven … and hell.
My Sun City Peachtree golf course is a lot easier than the California courses I played, largely because it was designed for a retirement community. When I was playing a lot a decade or so ago, I played well enough that I put up some scores I never dreamed of achieving.
I broke 80, something I never imagined doing. A 79, a 78 and once an amazing 75.
I nearly did something even beyond that. Playing just nine holes, I parred the first eight and left myself with the easiest hole on the course — one I parred 50 percent of the time — to complete an even-par 36.
Alas, my par putt lipped out and I had a 37.
All that was a long time ago, and along with my other best athletic memories, it isn’t going to happen again.
I’m going to try and get back out on the golf course this summer and realistically, I’ll be fortunate to shoot in the low 90s starting out. One small advantage is that there is a set of tees in between men’s white and ladies’ red that I can use at age 73. The green tees for old guys should help me a little.
Of the two biggest problems, one can be overcome and one can’t.
It breaks my heart that I will never play a round — or two — with my friends again.