HERMES IS ONE OF CLASS OF ’67’S TRUE HEROES

Some people are heroes without most people ever knowing it. In the summer and fall of 2014, my brilliant scientist wife seemed to be slipping into a form of dementia. In fact, that fall after several tests, she was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, which combines aspects of Parkinson’s Disease and Alzheimer’s. Our doctors told us she might have a year or two before she developed full-on dementia.

When I mentioned something about it on Facebook, my friend Jim Hermes from the Class of 1967 wrote me to tell me his wife Donna suffered from this and he said he would be happy to share any information he could with me. I thnaked him and told him I would be in touch.

Then something exceedingly strange happened. Nicole didn’t just stop declining, she got better. Almost all the symptoms went away and her cognition returned to pre-illness levels, When the neuropsychologist tested her cognitive abilities again a year later, he said her score was the highest of anyone he had ever tested.

Nearly eight years later, while her memory and cognition aren’t perfect, I’d say she was above average for a 73-year-old woman.

Why mention it? Jim’s kindness meant a great deal to me, and when I have seen his posts about Donna nearly every day for the last eight years, I have been filled with tremendous admiration for his love and dedication to his wife of 52 years.

Yes, there are heroes among us who are all but unknown.

Jim Hermes is one of them.

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WHERE’VE YOU BEEN?

Jim Hermes was one of the quiet kids in the Class of 1967.

As did many in our class, Jim came from a military family. His father was career Army, but was not in favor of the escalation that changed a mostly advisory role in Vietnam into a war that resulted in more than 58,000 American dead.

“I would say his views influenced me most,” Hermes said. “I could not agree with all of the policies of the LBJ presidency, but I still had plans of following my father and making a career out of the Army.”

After graduating from Woodson, Hermes went to college at the University of Nebraska. He considered himself an independent politically, but in the spring of his freshman year, he attended a campaign speech by Bobby Kennedy who was on his way to California.

“I was impressed by a lot of what he had to say,” Hermes said. “Just a couple of weeks after his speech on our campus, he was assassinated in Los Angeles. That hit me hard and reminded me of our first year of high school when his brother the president was killed.”

Hermes was involved in Army ROTC at Nebraska, although he was enough of a diplomat that he had friends of all political and social backgrounds. At one point, the Students for a Democratic Society — yes, they were at Nebraska too — took over the Military and Naval Science Building.

On his way to class, he noticed a couple of his friends protesting and walked over to talk with them. He was in uniform and one of his professors, a captain in the Army, yelled down at him to get away from the radicals. When Hermes got to the classroom, he said the professor was shaking all over. He had his .45 automatic holstered and was pacing nervously.

“A little later, a Major came in to finish the class. After the Captain left, he major turned to the class and spoke quietly.

“He told us the captain was going to shoot his damn foot off,” Hermes said. “The class got quite a kick out of that.”

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The biggest thing that happened in his college years was meeting Donna Stadler, and they were married at the end of his senior year in 1971.

He didn’t go for the Army career after college, getting a medical discharge before his last year of college because of allergies and asthma. He worked for a number of years as a teacher in a small town in northeastern Nebraska and the spent a year on the Omaha Indian Reservation as principal of the high school.

“The years teaching were full of enjoyment, trails and challenges,” he said. “I had one student who costarred with Kevin Costner in ‘Dances With Wolves.'”

Yes, he did, but Rodney Grant didn’t just play Wind in His Hair. He appeared in 24 other film and television roles between 1988 and 2012, including such major films as “Ghosts of Mars” and “The Doors.” Two other students became college professors in Sioux City, Iowa.

When his family with Donna started growing, he decided he needed a job that would provide a little more financial security. He was living in a part of the country where agriculture and food production was a big part of the economy, and he got involved in quality assurance/quality control at IBP (now part of Tyson) in 1975.

He worked for several companies before settling in Owatonna, Minn., about an hour south of the Twin Cities.

He and Donna have three sons, all of whom have been living with six miles of their parents. All are married and all have contributed grandchildren to the growing Hermes clan.

The oldest son Jason moved to San Diego for his job, but there are now 20 grandchildren and even a few grandchildren. Jim keeps all of them posted on what’s going on with Donna with his regular Facebook posts.

“It has been fantastic being able to be a big part in the lives of our grandkids,” Jim said. “Nothing beats the hugs and kisses from the little ones for no reason other than being the grandparents.”

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Their grandchildren range in age from early thirties to preteens and they bring much joy to their grandfather. It’s difficult to know how much they mean to their grandmother, who is now many years into dementia and living in a care facility.

Her husband of 52 years visits her every day, some days more than once.

Some days are better than others. Some days they hug and kiss and listen to the music they grew up loving. He helps her eat and helps her get some exercise. It isn’t like being 22 again, but it has to be nice to share days with the person you have loved for more than half a century.

Other days aren’t so good. She is tired and less aware of her surroundings, but there has never been a day so bad that Jim figures there’s no point in coming back tomorrow.

More than almost any other example, this is love.

There is a song by Kathy Mattea about a couple that has been together for 60 years. She is fading from what is probably Alzheimer’s and doesn’t respond to anyone until her husband comes in to see her.

“Where’ve you been? I’ve looked for you forever and a day. Where’ve you been? I’m just not myself when you’re away.”

The last thing Jim Hermes would call himself is a hero. He’s just loving the woman he has always loved, the mother of his children and the grandmother of their grandchildren.

But don’t kid yourself.

A hero is exactly what he is.