I have written before about my favorite songs, and I said someday I would do a bottom 10 of my least favorite songs.
That never really appealed to me, though, so I have come up with something of a twist — and shout — on the idea.
How about the 10 worst songs that I actually enjoy hearing? Songs I know are bad, but still not only don’t I turn off the radio, I often actually turn it up?
Strangely, a lot of these songs come from the 1970s.
10. BILLY, DON’T BE A HERO, Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods — Sort of an anti-war song, but way too cute and catchy to really be a good one. Also a version by Paper Lace, who will be next on the list for a different song.
9. THE NIGHT CHICAGO DIED, Paper Lace — Daddy was a cop on the East Side of Chicago. Since Chicago really has no East Side, Daddy was walking an underwater beat in Lake Michigan. A very goofy song, but it is catchy. “… in the land of the dollar bill.”
I can’t really explain why this song and the previous one always seem linked in my mind.
8. GIMME DAT DING, The Pipkins — Pre-1970. There was never a band called the Pipkins, but there was a singer named Tony Burrows, who had five “one-hit wonders” for five different fake groups. At least one other of the songs will make this list.
7. CHIRPY CHIRPY CHEEP CHEEP, Middle of the Road — A truly goofy song, but for some reason I enjoy the sound of it. The group was never heard of again.
6. LOVE GROWS (WHERE MY ROSEMARY GOES), Edison Lighthouse — Another of the five Tony Burrows groups. A very catchy song, and I love it that someone once described the song by saying that actually, nothing grows where my Rosemary goes.
5. BABY SHARK, Pinkfong — If it weren’t for Gerardo Parra and the 2019 Washington Nationals’ run to victory in the 2019 World Series, I would probably hate this song. But the Nats winning the Series was one of the top three or four sports highlights in my life, and this song was such a big part of it.
4. MISTER JAWS, Dickie Goodman — This wasn’t the first of this type of song. The format actually goes back 10 or 15 years before that, but Dickie Goodman was the king of assembling songs to create a sort of press conference, and this was maybe the best of them.
3. AFTERNOON DELIGHT, Starland Vocal Band — Actually a huge hit, No. 1 nationally on the Billboard charts in the summer of 1976. A song about sneaking off for some nookie in the middle of the day. Skyrockets in flight, indeed.
2. BEACH BABY, First Class — So you thought we were done with Tony Burrows? Nope. A catchy, fun song that ended up with the words “Beach baby” over and over again until it sounds like “Baby beach.”
“We couldn’t wait for graduation day, we got the car and drove to San Jose …”
Where there isn’t a beach.
And a big surprise at No. 1, a song that actually annoyed the hell out of me when it was popular but now I find myself smiling every time I hear it.
- KUNG FU FIGHTING, Carl Douglas — Maybe it’s just that it was so reminiscent of me being in my early 20s, but I not only listen, I actually bought one of the little bunnies that swings a nunchunk and sings the song.
Ah, to be 24 again.