THANK THOMAS FOR RESPECT FOR MARRIAGE PASSAGE

I suppose folks who supported the Respect for Marriage Act that passed the Senate today owe thanks to Clarence Thomas more than almost any other opponent of same-sex or interracial marriage.

Thomas is perhaps the least distinguished Supreme Court justice of the last 100 years. In fact, it might not be too much of a reach to call him the Herschel Walker of Supreme Court justices.

In fact, he might have made it more urgent when he took his victory lap this summer and gloated when the Dobbs decision overturned Roe v Wade. He said the long-established principle of stare decisis was just laziness and said there was no reason the Court couldn’t revisit decisions on contraception and same-sex marriage.

He didn’t mention Loving v Virginia, a case that struck down so-called miscegenation laws that banned interracial marriage, proving that in the case of Thomas at least, it’s a case of whose Al is Gored. Thomas is of course a black man married to a white woman.

But once Thomas suggested that this strongly conservative Supreme Court might reverse its decision that had legalized same-sex marriage, it became a priority for Congress to codify it. They did just that, although in as cowardly a way as they possibly could and still get the job done.

The Respect for Marriage Act does not require states opposed to same-sex marriage to issue such marriage licenses in their state. If you’re a man in love with a man in Mississippi or Idaho, you do not have the right to get married there. If, however, you decided to go to a state where same-sex marriage is legal and get married there, when happened in Vegas wouldn’t have to stay in Vegas.

Your marriage license — and with it your marriage — would be legal back home. God may not have created Adam and Steve, as the fundies put it, but their marriage would be just as legal as Clarence and Ginny or Don and Melania.

My friend Mitch used to be terrified of same-sex marriage, but that was only when he thought the law would make same-sex marriage mandatory. I told him that wasn’t the case, but even if it were, he could beat the system by marrying someone who was stupid and had small genitalia, like Scott Baio or Kirk Cameron.

Seriously, most of the people opposed to it feel the way they do for religious reasons, but marriage in this country is first and foremost a legal contract. And those with religious reasons are fading away year by year. My children are in early middle age, and both of them find religious reasons to band same-sex marriage ridiculous.

The generation following won’t eventhink about it.

Heck, even Superman’s son is gay now.

Uh, Mike …

Yes, I know he’s a fictional character, but look back 50 years and gay fictional characters were not presented in a positive light.

Conservatives often seem absolutely obsessed with the fact that some people are having sex with partners of their same sex. That led former Pennsylvania Senator Rich Santorum to moan that if sodomy laws were outlawed, the next step would be man-on-dog sex.

Santorum isn’t a senator anymore.

But we can at least be thankful Clarence Thomas will stand up for anti-bestiality laws.

Although I’m not so sure about white people and black animals, or vice vera.

He might be OK with that.