MY FAVORITES ARE ALL REAL CHRISTMAS MOVIES, NOT SHOOTOUTS

When we talk about Christmas movies, things get kind of ridiculouis sometimes.

Maybe the silliest thing we do is count something as a Christmas movie just because it happens at Christmas. Maybe the best (worst) examples are the first two “Die Hard” movies. Another one that fits with them is “The Long Kiss Goodnight.”

I enjoy all three of these movies, but they aren’t Christmas movies to me.

The Long Kiss Goodnight

They’re good examples of things that ought not to be in Christmas movies.

Automatic weapons and shoot outs.

Massive explosions.

Nudity.

Body counts.

Love Actually

So what are the best Christmas movies? I’m going to give you a list of a dozen of my favorites, using sort of a reverse version of one of my favorite secular Christmas carols.

Here we go:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, “Four Christmases” with Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn. This 2008 film is about a young married couple whose vacation plans fall through and they are forced to spend Christmas day visiting their four families (their parents are divorced and remarried). It has its moments.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, “Elf” with Will Ferrell. A sweet movie about the Christmas spirit, with Ferrell playing a normal-sized human raised as an elf at the North Pole.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love game to me, Billy Bob Thornton as “Bad Santa.” A truly dark comedy from 2003, with Billy Bob playing a department store Santa who uses the job to set up mall robberies.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullavan in 1940’s “The Shop Around the Corner.” Two co-workers don’t like each other, but they are pen pals falling in love with each other. Remade half a century later as “You’ve Got Mail with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, “A Charlie Brown Christmas” from 1965. One of the most beloved of all Christmas stories, it’s the only one on this list that was actually a television special. Tough to find anything that symbolizes American Christmas in the Baby Boom era.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, “A Christmas Carol” from 1938. So many versions of the classic Dickens story, but this was one of the first and best. Ebenezer Scrooge meets four ghosts on Christmas Eve and learns the true meaning of Christmas in Victorian England,

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, Judy Garland in “Meet Me in St. Louis.” It was made during World War II but set in turn of the century St. Louis. Maybe it was the war, but the famous Christmas carol from the show, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” is one of the saddest Christmas carols ever.

“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.” Third in the series of “Vacation” films, the incompetent but good-hearted Clark Griswold tries to give his family the best Christmas ever. Of course, by this point in the series, the real star is Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, “It’s A Wonderful Life.” Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed in this 1946 film that many people consider their favorite Christmas movie. A little too much treacle for me and it was not a big success at the time of its release. Still, it’s full of the Christmas spirit and fun to watch for the 33rd time.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, “A Christmas Story” from 1983. This wonderful adaptation of a Jean Shepherd story about Christmas in northern Indiana in the 1950s is of Ralphie and his desire to get a BB gun as a Christmas. All works for the best, although Ralphie nearly does put his eye out.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, London at Christmas for “Love Actually.” It’s been called the ultimate rom-com, with seven different and interlocking love stories in the five weeks leading up to Christmas. The stories ranhe from meh to wonderful, with Colin Firth as a writer who falls in love with the Portuguese housekeeper in his summer home. I love this movie, but there is one better Chriostmas movie out there.

“Miracle on 34th Street”

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a trip to New York to witness a “Miracle on 34th Street.” A truly wonderful story about the true meaning of Christmas in the years just after the Second World War. Natalie Wood plays a little girl whose mother has taught her not to believe in Santa Claus, but then she sees Kris Kringle in action as the Macy’s Santa. Maybe the most moving moment in the film is when Kris speaks fluent Dutch to a little war orphan from the Netherlands. And of course there’s the happy ending.

One of my most memorable Christmas eves was 1993 when I was living in Los Angeles. I was having trouble getting to sleep. and I noticed that one of the independent TV stations was showing continuous viewings of “Miracle” all night. I watched it twice all the way through and then fell asleep.

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