I have never been a big believer in Hell.
Oh, I believe in God, if for no other reason than not wanting to believe that man is the crown of creation. I think it’s important to believe there is a greater purpose to life than just individual happiness.
Religion is a tougher call. To me, religion is a lot more about keeping people in line, with many of the rules going back to times when they had some meaning. Dietary ones in particular. Is there really a valid reason to forbid Jews from eating shellfish or pork, or forbidding Hindus from eating beef?
And the Sabbath? Not sure there’s really a valid religious reason for resting one day a week.
In fact, most of the things forbidden in Leviticus are sort of silly.
Religion really comes down to two, maybe even one, valid rules, what Jesus called the two great commandments in Matthew 22: 36-40.
“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.
“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”
So which one is the more crucial one? Not the one you might think. Whether you love God is pretty much just about behaving yourself. But loving your neighbor as yourself is one law common to every human religion except Satanism. It’s the Law of Reciprocity.
Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
So what’s the reward for being good? What happens when we die?
I think in some respect, JudaIsm has it right. I remember someone telling me once that Jews don’t believe in the afterlife, but that isn’t true. Judaism says we should behave ethically, not because of a reward in the afterlife but simply because it’s the right thing to do.
By the same token, fear of Hell shouldn’t be the reason not to behave badly.
Most of the time, when famous people die, cartoonists show them arriving at the Pearly Gates.
One of the sweeter ones came a few years back, when President George H.W. Bush died. It showed his wife Barbara, who had predeceased him, with their little daughter who had died at age 3. The two of them were greeting him, telling him they waited for him.
But when O.J. Simpson, who literally got away with murder, died Wednesday of cancer, cartoonists weren’t showing him arriving at the Pearly Gates. The ones I’ve seen so far show the Juice running into Old Scratch.
It reminded me of an old joke about Donald Trump dying and going to Hell. He is told he will be given the choice of three eternal punishments. First is Adolf Hitler being devoured again and again by weasels and he rejects that one. Second is Richard Nixon being eaten again and again by sharks.
He rejects that one too and the Devil takes him to the third punishment, where Bill Clinton is laying back in an easy chair while Monica Lewinsky performs oral sex on him. Trump grins and says he’ll choose this punishment. The Devil smiles and says, “OK, Monica. You can leave.”
So what would O.J.’s punishment be?
Seems obvious to me. O.J. would be playing in an eternal football game. On every play, he would either be thrown for a loss or fumble and the crowd would boo loudly.
A perfect punishment.