A story of dances, Kane, Posts and Oscars

Short takes from a journey through a disorganized mind:

During the five years I was a full-time newspaper columnist in Southern California, there were occasionally times I felt like commenting on subjects that weren’t worth a whole column. So I threw several different subjects into one piece under the “short takes” heading.

That’s how I feel today, so here goes.

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ANNOYING SPORTS TERMS: When I was working as a sportswriter in 1983-84 in Anderson, S.C., a colleague of mine coined (as far as I knew) a wonderful term for sports jargon.

I hadn’t thought of Charlie Bennett for decades until I heard that he died a couple of years ago, but I never forgot his term “sportuguese” for the cliche that used to show up in so many stories.

Home runs were “round trippers” or “circuit clouts.” lonmg touchdowns in football were “grand slams,” etc.

I don’t write sports anymore, but there are two terms that have come into a common usage lately that annoy me.

First is a horse racing term — actually horse race betting — that has been co-opted by American football. In horse racing, the most difficult and highest-stakes bet is called a “pick six.” It requires the bettor to pick the winners of six consecutive horse races on the same day and pays off at odds usually of thousands to one.

In that context, it’s kind of cool. In football, it means a player, usually but not always a defensive back, intercepting a pass and returning it for a touchdown. Pick (interception) six )popints for a touchdown. Ugh.

Second is a term you will be hearing a lot this month. Tonight the NCAA will announce the 68 teams that will compete for the men’s basketball championship (women too, but I don’t think they use this term). I believe it was in the mid 1980s when they coined the term “March Madness,” which is not the one that bugs me. I think that’s wonderful, but there’s a more recent term I truly dislike.

The Big Dance.

I can’t even count the number of times I’ve read or heard it this week, and what’s even worse is when they use the verb “dancing.”

Just as there’s no crying in baseball, there’s no dancing in basketball.

Maybe ballet. I’ll accep the Big Ballet.

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HOPELESSLY ROMANTIC: I have always believed men are much more likely to overidealize romantic love.

“A fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn’t think he’d remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry, and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in, and on it there was a girl waiting to get off.

“A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn’t see me at all, but I’ll bet a month hasn’t gone by since that I haven’t thought of that girl.”

If you are a real film buff, you may recognize the above speech from Orson Welles’ 1941 tour de force, “Citizen Kane.” It was sort of a throwaway moment in the movie, but it said a lot.

(1977, first wife and cocker spaniel. I really miss that dog.)

I had a bad first marriage and have had a wonderful second one, but there were at least four or five women in between that I would have married. Two of them I actually asked and they said yes, but they never came to pass.

There was one other that I knew for a short time 49 years ago. No romance, nothing physical at all. But I thought we had a wonderful connection in terms of spending time together having great conversations.

Nothing ever came of it. I was married at the time and we lost touch after that summer, but as Bernstein said in “Kane,” a month hasn’t gone by since that I haven’t thought of that girl.

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TRULY TRAGIC: I was fortunate enough to spend my teens and most of my twenties having access to one of America’s great newspapers. I still spend $99 a year to get the Washington Post online, but I have renewed it for the last time.

When Jeff Bezos purchased the paper, I thought that would be wonderful. The Amazon.com founder has wealth measured in 12 figures, so I thought the one thing certain was that he wouldn’t need to make a profit. Well, I should have known better. You absolutely cannot trust a billionaire.

Massive budget and staff cuts are bad enough, but the editorial stance of the paper has changed — if not full MAGA — to anti-tax increases on the megarich.

Woodward and Bernstein are spinning in their graves.

What? They’re not dead?

They might as well be.

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OSCAR WHO: Tonight’s Academy Awards will mark the 15th consecutive year I have not seen any of the Best Picture nominees prior to the ceremonies. In fact, even since, I have only seen one of the best picture winners on streaming video or DVD.

That was 2015 release “Spotlight,” which won at the 2016 Oscars.

This year, off the top of my head, I couldn’t even name one nominee.